


James, we will always have the moon

by ads1008



Category: Marvel
Genre: F/M, Remembering the Dead, fighting hydra, hydra days, missing lost love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ads1008/pseuds/ads1008
Summary: Bucky tells Sam about the Natasha he knew.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 6





	James, we will always have the moon

**Author's Note:**

> I hope yall enjoy.

Bucky was sitting at the kitchen table staring at the wall once again. He was having one of his tough days. This usually meant all of the Winter Soldier’s, no all of his memories were coming in and out of his mind. Most were too much for him to bear but others were lovely. Those memories had his Natalia in them. She would be wrapped up in his arms and tell him a story about how one day they would be able to escape this horror and be together forever.

“Hey, Bucky. You okay?” Bucky slammed his fist down on the table. He wasn’t ready to let Natalia go but Sam was right to ask if he was okay. “Thinking about Nat again man. We all miss her too but what do you say we get out of the house and visit Steve in the nursing home.” Bucky just turned and looked at him. He knew Sam was trying. He really was a great friend and was helping him adjust to everything, but he couldn’t help him with this. Sam didn’t know Natalia, he just knew Natasha or Nat. That was the girl she wanted everyone to see. Natalia was real. Natalia was the girl that fell in love with him for him. She helped him to stay grounded in the world. Without her, he would have put a bullet in his head.

“Thanks, Sam but you can’t help with this. I might just go to the gym or something.” Bucky was right out of the door before Sam grabbed his arm. “Dude, you do realize I ran a grief and survival guilt group for veterans. Sit down let me help you.” “No, it’s fine.” Sam didn’t let go. He saw the pain in Bucky’s eyes. Sam knew if this man didn’t talk to someone, he will be in a much worst state in a couple of days. And those days would lead to months. “Please” Bucky went and sat back down. He knew Sam was right and it was probably for the best to not have this get worst. “Tell me about Natalia. I only know a badass woman named Natasha.” Bucky laughed at that because Natalia was badass in her own right.

“James we must be quiet. If they catch us, they will put you back on ice and they will make me forget you. I can’t forget you again.” Tears started to stream down her face. James wrapped his arms around her wishing he could take her away from this hell. They met in the red room when she was just a young woman. He was just an old man with a young man’s face. They fell in love while he was training her. She was tough and he was so angry. They balanced each other out and soften each other’s hard spot. “You know what no Natalia. We are leaving Russia tonight.” He sat up and grabbed her shoulders. He had a pleading look on his face. She wasn’t sure. She didn’t care about her safety. She would be gone in a heartbeat but what they would be doing was risky. James would get tortured. She couldn’t bear hearing his screams in the dead of night while they wiped all of his memories. He would forget everything, and she would forget nothing. Every time they found each other again she would tell him only the good thing. She couldn’t bear to tell him the bad parts.

“Let’s do it, James. But where would we go? We only truly know Russia.” 

'That isn’t true you know I have some memories of America. We could go there and live out our days happy.” They jumped up and put on their clothes and grabbed the few weapons they had laying around the small room they would share. James went and opened the door to see if there was anyone around and then Natalia crept her way down the hallway. They almost made it out of there until they came to the entrance. 

“Halt what are you doing? No one should be out past curfew. Wait the Winter Solider. Code 519. I need back up.” 

“Ready” James looked over at her knowing she was ready. Natalia was one of the greatest spies to come out of the program. They didn’t call her the black widow for nothing. She raised her gun and shot the man dead center between the eyebrows. “You know I am always ready” They kept moving until they came upon thirty guards. They might have seemed outmatched but together they could defeat hundreds of men. Until “Ahhh!!” “No James” James was being shocked in the places where he would start to lose his memories. Natalia jumped on the man’s shoulders doing her signature move. “James get up. We got to keep going we are almost there.” Natalia wrapped his arms around his shoulders as he tried to regain his strength. Things only got harder on the other side of the door. “Stand down you are outmatched." One man grabbed hold of James and pinned him down on the ground while another one encased Natalia. That’s fine because she wasn’t in the mood to fight. They had James and this time this was all over.

“Keep walking Soldier” They slammed James backed down in the chaired and hooked him up to all the machines. 

“Wait, get her out of here. I don’t want her to see this” James pleaded. 

“Shut it. Now wipe him.” The room echoed with James’ screams and Natalia couldn’t do anything but watch in horror. This was what she feared but things couldn’t be anymore worst but what they told her. This was the last time she would ever see him. They were stationing her in Budapest. The anger surged through her. This wasn’t fair. They needed each other but now they were losing each other. This was going to be the last memory they will have together. James fought back going to the cryo-chamber. He wanted to at least hold her one last time. As the machine closed, he placed his hand on the glass to tell her goodbye. “It's okay James. We will always have the moon.

“Damn dude. You got me crying over here. Fuck Hydra y’all deserved each other.” “Yeah, I loved her a lot. I wanted to give her the world. I was going to marry her, but I never got to truly see her after that moment. The other times I saw her I was in Winter Soldier mode. Then with the accords happening I only really had my memories back with Steve. I didn’t get my memories of her until it was too late. When Steve told me, she was dead I thought I was going to kill myself that night, but you and Steve reminded me that she wouldn’t want that. She sacrificed herself to get everyone back including me.” Bucky all of the sudden felt very numb. He couldn’t take talking anymore. He couldn’t take sitting there anymore. He got up from the table and went outside. He must have been talking for a while because it was already nighttime, and the full moon showed very brightly. “We will always have the moon,” Bucky said as he fell to his knees crying.


End file.
